I see these Mama lists all the time and usually there are one or two points that I can relate to and make me say totally but usually the lists leave me thinking about my own weird behaviors. I think in 20 years I’d like to remember these things. So, here we go, a list of stuff I do after 2 years as a Mama that I never imagined I would put up with pre-kids:
* I use the remainders of the kids’ cups of milk to make my tea.
* Having 4+ pairs of house slippers to wear in rotation seems completely reasonable.
* I shower minimally and wash my hair even less. (1)
* My meals during the day often consist of whatever is leftover on the kids’ plates when I clean up after breakfast and lunch.
* It has been 15+ months since my last haircut, unless you count the trim I gave myself over the sink in February. (2)
* >75% of the pictures I take are of my kids.
* The only things that ever get put away relate to the kids…their clothes, diapers, sheets, towels, toys are always where they’re supposed to be, but I live out of a laundry basket/pile of semi-clean/straight up dirty stuff on the floor.
* I will wear the same outfit…off my laundry pile…multiple days in a row and wear it in public and not be bothered. I don’t even mind telling the Internet right now. Ok I mind a little, but I’m being honest for posterity’s sake.
* My daytime “outfits” are various combinations of the same leggings, tshirts, and sneakers. (3)
* I spend more time on the phone than ever before. I talk mostly to my sister Becca. (4)
* I am not grossed out by the various bodily outputs of my children. (5)
* I no longer have a delicious cocktail at the end of the day. I drink tea. Or coffee. A lot of it.
* I still love cocktails, but cannot indulge like I used to. Even if it’s over many hours. Especially over many hours.
* I vacuum twice as much and dust, like, never.
- Who am I kidding I showered/washed my hair minimally before kids. I’d rather spend free time enjoying a cuppa tea…petting the kitty…reading a book…and I can’t do any of those things in the shower. Plus then I have to deal with wet hair. I don’t know why I’m defending myself, stop judging me!
- I used to watch my own mother do this and thought to myself, what’s so hard about going for a haircut? Go get a real haircut! Turns out you need a babysitter, time to carve out for the babysitter in the middle of our day, money to pay for the haircut and perhaps said babysitter, and an idea of how you want your hair actually cut so that it doesn’t require any work (shorter?). Sorry Mama, I get it now.
- I’m never really wore leggings before I was pregnant, but boy have I ever seen light. My twin pregnancy-ravaged abdomen is forever thankful to socially accepted elastic waistbands.
- She’s my instant access voice of reason in my head who knows what I mean all the time. I used to think no one could talk on the phone longer than my mom. Now I think all moms must do this for their own sanity.
- Read: poop, pee, vomit (ok, vomit a little), boogers/mucus/flem, drool, spit, eye gunk, ear wax, etc. I am pleased to report I am still appropriately grossed out by other people’s “stuff”.
And because I can’t post anything without a picture, here are mini versions of the people who allow me to own a million pairs of slippers and not feel bad About it. I think this was exactly 2 years ago. They could snuggle on a single boppy pillow! It’s easy for me to tell who is who, can you?